Narcissist in the Workplace

Today, I had a short discussion with my boss about people who just don't like to play by the rules, move from one job to another when confronted about their shortcomings, and never get anywhere in the workplace because people eventually catch on that these people just aren't a team player.  Sounds a lot like my ex.  When we were married, he used to come home and brag about his accomplishments.  He used to boast that his workplace would fall apart if he ever left.  Somehow he was always the hardest working person at his place... When we were first married, I used to buy into his lies, but after hearing the same thing over and over, every time he got transferred... I began to wonder. 

Narcissists always believe they are special and possess some sort of magical power.  Hence, they should be treated as special... anyone who disagrees- well to them they are the ones with the problem... how dare they question his awesomeness. 

Working with a narcissist is a very demanding and often degrading task.  Shortly after I left my narcissist, I had lunch with a lady who had the misfortune of having to work with my narcissist.  My initial response when she told me, "oh, I am so sorry you had to experience that".  She described him as "something else".  I had worked in the same building with this same woman years ago.  I never once heard her say anything ill about anyone.  And yet, here she was venting her frustration of having to work with such a difficult person. Just like a typical narcissist, she described my narcissist in the work place as such:  "He used to think I worked for him and not with him".  We both found that to be quite humurous because he was the contractor working for her on her project. 

Narcissists love to take credit for other people's work and they love to demean your work any chance they get.  This was the great demise of how my narcissist lost his job.  He went around for months taking credit for other people's work, trying to steal work from them, and bad-mouthing anyone who did not praise him.  Eventually, those who worked with him got tired of his behavior and some even refused to work with him.  When confronted with his behavior by his supervisors, he blew up at them saying "I don't need this job". 

Remember how in my other posts I said we lived in a little town and you always ran into someone you knew when you were out and about.  Well, his behavior proceeded him as he tried to find work with other contractors.  The same people that he had bad-mouthed, took it upon themselves to warn other contractors to not hire him. 

The only work he could find was with a very small contractor.  It will be interesting to sit back and watch how this plays out because this small contractor has very little room for growth and for moving up within the organization.  This will be very difficult for my narcissist because in his mind he is important, special and deserving of high positions and important projects. 

What I want to relay to those who have to work with a narcissist, is to let this person fall on his own sword.  Attempting to engage or change this type of behavior is futile.  If at all possible let your supervisor or someone higher up the chain deal with his behavior.  Eventually everyone at the work place will see just how difficult it is in dealing with this type of person.  Let his reputation and behavior do the talking- actions are louder than words.  If you complain about this person's behavior, you may unintentionally come across as the difficult person who has issues when dealing with others.  Remember to preserve your own dignity by not lowering yourself to their type of behavior.

Narcissistic Relationships - An Introduction

Dr. Drew does an excellent job in explaining narcissism in a few short sentences.