About Me

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I graduated from one of the most prestigious schools, got my bachelors and masters in engineering, had a promising career, and had wonderful, beautiful children. By all accounts and appearances, it would have appeared for a long time that I had a great, picturesque life, but underneath it all, I was married to someone who was diagnosed as being narcissistic. My nightmare started almost immediately after I married this person who was Jekyl and Hyde. I want to share my experiences and to let you know what I had to sacrifice and do to get away from this person. My journey still continues as I am still working to fully recover from experiencing this person in my life. I don't think anyone ever really recovers from dealing with such a monster.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Silence is SO GOLDEN!

I haven't written on my blog in a long time.  I have been busy with work and building my new house.  I've learned to not tell my ex about anything that I do or to give him any hints of what is going on in my life.  This drives the narcissist insane.  They can't stand it when you refuse to engage. 

So, as it turns out, I kept my mouth shut about my new house and only shared it with the kids.  He apparently managed to somehow buy a house... oh the email that I got from him bragging about his house that he put a bid in for and it was accepted made me want to gag.  He boasted about how large and beautiful and awesome it was... oh that it was soooo huge and he put in intricate details about size, number of rooms, blah blah blah... The house is the same size as mine and for most of the year it will only be inhabited by me and my boyfriend... whereas he will be in a same size house with SEVEN people.  I had to laugh.  The ludicrous insinuation that this idiot was making that his house was going to be better than mine... who the f&*( cares. 

My narcissist doesn't seem to get it... I really do not care.  I could give a rat's ass - as the saying goes, but he on the other hand has to make it a point to fill me in on the details of his supposed awesome life with his girlfriend... who is still married to husband number three... "for reals???" 

I just keep my mouth shut and laugh in side as he goes on and on about how wonderful he is.  And I say to myself... "what a dumbass".  Not saying anything and not engaging with him on small talk is the best thing to do.  Sometimes it is really hard... like this time, I really wanted to make fun of how he thought his house was so large.  I bit my tongue- boy am I full of cliches today...

So, I guess I am going to take a few minutes to brag about my new house here on my blog- customized house, 2400 square feet, 4 bedrooms, with master bedroom suite.  Awesome kitchen with quartz countertops and a bonus room to hang out in :)  .  So maybe I didn't get to rub it in his face, but I at least got to write about.  I love watching our house being built.  I love the fact that I am picking things out that are the way I want it and not having to settle for what crazy guy deemed as awesome... because we never had the same taste in anything, but there was no compromising- there was only the "you have no sense in style and what you like looks really bad".  When we worked with the designer to tell her what we wanted, colors, etc, she absolutely loved what we were doing.  Everything is contemporary and modern.  The way I want it... clean lines.. none of this frilly, traditional style for this girl.

I can't wait to see it when our house is done.  Maybe I will be brave and even post a few pictures.  Enjoying this time and not sharing in the least with my ex-crazy guy has been wonderful.  Who cares what he thinks and besides it really is none of his business how I decide to live my life.

My little update- turns out he didn't get the house after all and for some reason he told my daughter they weren't moving until the fall.  He went all out bragging about stuff and nothing came to fruition... a lot of times with the narcissist you will find that they are just full of hot air. 

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I have just left my husband who I have been with for over 6 years. The best thing that he ever did for me was bringing me to Christ. Unfortunately he has tried to use that to keep me from leaving. This is the 3rd and final time I have left. The love of and from Christ is what has made me strong enough to leave him. The 2nd time I left he convinced me to come back and go thru Christian counseling. He stopped going of course, but I kept going and that is where I found that it was not me. When my Christian counselor told me that he thinks my husband is narcissist, I read up on it and it was so freeing to know that no matter what I could ever do our situation would never change. It gave me the strength to finally and completely give up and move on. Good luck to you and God Bless!

    Chrystal Lynn