It always amazes me how narcissists have such an abundance of energy to tell you how to live your life, as if they are the godsend grand wizard of your life--- the all knowing- know it all. My ex used to act like I gave a shit about his life after I decided to move 3000 miles to get away from him. I found it always laughable at his insinuations that I really cared who he was with, what he was up to. He would try to get on his all mighty high horse as he likes to always do and pontificate his religion of lunacy to me.
So here comes the hypocrisy- all while I could care less about him, he is stalking me all around the internet. He would go on my then boyfriend's facebook page to scold me on something that he would only know if he went on his facebook page. He would also spend countless hours reading my yelp reviews and act like he had a Aha! moment. Sometimes I would right some witty reviews with some clever quips to throw him for a loop... all the while I was laughing to myself because I knew he was reading them.
I used to think I needed to hide my identity in writing my blogs, writing my short stories- to keep things hidden from him. That may have been true in the initial stages after I escaped the insanity and chaos, but it's been several years since I moved. So, I don't hide my identity anymore- and why should I... I write the truth, I write from the heart, and I above all else, have a voice- a voice that will share my experiences with this lunatic in the hopes that someone out there will learn and not repeat the same mistakes I did.
Narcissists are always hypocrites...they live by the rule of "do as I say, not as I do." And let me expound on that notion a little further- they do not have the moral fortitude to be able to measure up to the standards they set forth for everyone else. And all their shortcomings are some how erased with a flimsy excuse that only makes sense to the narcissists-- only to those who reside in their fantasy la-la land. For those of us with our feet firmly on planet earth, their reasoning is quite flawed and quite distant from reality.
My goal is to write about my experiences, share what I have learned, and hopefully help someone deal with and free themselves from their narcissist. My secondary goal, is to let out all so much I have held in for years and quietly suffered. I do this as a means to continue to heal.
About Me
- Soyon
- I graduated from one of the most prestigious schools, got my bachelors and masters in engineering, had a promising career, and had wonderful, beautiful children. By all accounts and appearances, it would have appeared for a long time that I had a great, picturesque life, but underneath it all, I was married to someone who was diagnosed as being narcissistic. My nightmare started almost immediately after I married this person who was Jekyl and Hyde. I want to share my experiences and to let you know what I had to sacrifice and do to get away from this person. My journey still continues as I am still working to fully recover from experiencing this person in my life. I don't think anyone ever really recovers from dealing with such a monster.