About Me

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I graduated from one of the most prestigious schools, got my bachelors and masters in engineering, had a promising career, and had wonderful, beautiful children. By all accounts and appearances, it would have appeared for a long time that I had a great, picturesque life, but underneath it all, I was married to someone who was diagnosed as being narcissistic. My nightmare started almost immediately after I married this person who was Jekyl and Hyde. I want to share my experiences and to let you know what I had to sacrifice and do to get away from this person. My journey still continues as I am still working to fully recover from experiencing this person in my life. I don't think anyone ever really recovers from dealing with such a monster.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Wanted Smart Successful Women for Extreme Abuse

I recently saw a You Tube video about a woman who rode on the hood of a mini van for a whopping 35 MILES!  The report was that she got into an altercation with her husband and she tried to stop him from driving off by getting on the hood of their mini van.  Well, he took her for the ride of her life and nearly killed her.  The police estimated that the wind chill was probably well below freezing and that at times he was going as fast as 100 mph.  They also noted that she was a smart, articulate women who was a paralegal.  They commented on how intelligent this woman was.  He on the other hand had past run-ins with the law for drug related incidences.

Why is it that these narcissistic men target smart, successful wome???  Time and time again I run across women who share similar stories as mine and we all have one thing in common- we are smart, successful, attractive women.  I began to wonder about this and the only conclusion that I can come to, is that they see as a challenge.  Because like all other aspects of life, they see their mate not as a partner, but as a reflection of who they want to be and who they want to be associated with.  I also think that these type of men are attracted by things that are hard to get or better yet, hard to find.  So, to them getting this type of person as a mate, says to the world that they are great... they see us as a trophy to be had.

Once they have us, they become jealous of us for the very reasons that they fall for us.  My ex was always so jealous of my successes at work.  He resorted to sabotaging my work.  There was one incidence when I had to go to Hawaii for several weeks for my work.  He got extremely jealous and even convinced himself that I was having an affair.  The week prior to my departure was pure hell.  He made all sorts of threats and even put a password on my computer so I could not retrieve a presentation that I had been working on for weeks.  He made me pay him $200 to take the password off.  I remember being so anxious to get on that plane to get away from him.  Once I got to Hawaii, he called me over 50 times a day for several days.  I refused to answer any of my calls.  After a few days I relented and took his calls.  He was convinced that I was having an affair... this coming from the person who used to always tell me that I am lucky to have him because no man would want to be with someone like me.

Why is it that when it comes to our professional lives, we make wise, intelligent choices?  But when it comes to love, we make the decision that makes the least sense? 

The other thing to note about these women that I have met, is that they have the most wonderful, out going personalities.  All of these women are kind, caring, and mature and yet for all of our intelligence, we end up with our worst nightmares. 

My girlfriend sat me down in her office one day and looked at me with a stern look.  She said in a frank manner, "it is time for a paradigm shift".  One of the best advice I have ever gotten and really taken to heart.  My current boyfriend, is just awesome and not because he is flashy, or tries to impress people, but because he is just the opposite.  He doesn't seek attention, always tells the truth no matter the consequences, and just genuinely wants the best for not only me, but also for us.  I had to rethink my entire thought pattern and to really think about what it was that I found to be important.  I dated a lot of different people for a while just to figure that out.  So many times I met people who presented well, but when more and more layers became revealed, their stories just didn't match up.  I did a 180 and walked away from those people.  Never again, will I try to make sense of things that just don't make sense.  If their story doesn't add up and my intuition says there is something wrong, I listen to my gut instinct. 

When I started dating my boyfriend, I think I was trying to find holes in his story... sometimes maybe a little too hard, just to be proven that I was overreacting time and time again.  Although my relationship is not far from perfect, the fact that I have always felt safe from harm has had a huge impact. 

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