Reflecting Back

If someone were to tell me a year ago that I would be in the midst of building my dream house, I would have told them that they were crazy.  A year ago, I was in a quagmire, trying to get away from my narcissist and uncertain of how the future would turn out.  There were points in my life, where I felt like I would end up in the streets completely ruined.  I felt like this person would stop at nothing to destroy me. 

I slowly took back as many ways as I possibly could the ways in which he could hurt me.  In doing so, I made it ever so much more difficult for him to come after me.  I kept doing what I knew to be right.  Life is never quite perfect, but it sure is a lot easier when you are not with someone who works against you and tries to destroy your every happiness. 

I am so very fortunate that today I am happy to report that I have a great job, an awesome and understanding boss, a great boyfriend, and I am delightfully relishing every aspect of picking out the details of my new house. 

Sometimes we can't see that things will get better, but I tend to believe everything happens for a reason.  I often wish I never met my narcissist and didn't have it so hard for so many years of dealing with this person.  However, in hindsight, my life with my narcissist, has made me a better person.  It has taught me to cherish the people who are genuinely good and to run far away from those who have the personality traits of a narcissist.  It has taught me to enjoy the good fortunes I have had and to live my life to the fullest.  These lessons definitely came with a high price tag, and for that I will take care of them.  I can't say that I have any fond memories of my relationship with my narcissit, but I did learn lessons that I am quite fond of. 

Doing things on my term

Unfortunately I still have to deal with my narcissist on my regular basis for the kids' sake.  However, I have learned to deal with this person on my terms.  I don't give into his insane baits of trying to lure me into his drama filled life.  I don't offer him that satisfaction.  Instead, I have learned the hard way to let him rant and rave and act like he is the king of everything. 

And when he thinks he has had his way, I find clever ways to deal with him- unbeknownst to him.  Taking the power of the narcissist away is both the best defense and offense.  I stopped trying to reason with this person a long time ago.  This is one time when the adage of "never give up" is just plain wrong.  Yes, by all means, give up trying to reason with the narcissist. 

Finding the way to deal with the narcissist or just plain, not dealing with him, has been such a better way of dealing with this person.  Remember the best revenge is to live the best life you can and not let this person interfere with your happiness.  Having fun, laughing, enjoying life- the best way to get even with a narcissist.

Sara Bareilles - King Of Anything